It hit me the last time I jotted down one more idea in my notebook for my novel and found myself thinking "Oh no, not again !". Whatever the story I write or just daydream, or whatever the character I create for a novel or role-playing game, there is always an element or a pattern that keeps coming up. Then I came to realize that almost all my stories and characters share common characteristics. The good news is that's the mark of a personal style, but I can't help thinking, however, that I may be either an obsessive type of writer with unresolved issues or that I just lack of imagination.

( Here are some of these recurrences... )

Something I really hate about writing (and creating in general) is when I have this great story idea for a novel or a short story and see that it's already been written, or made in film or for TV.

When I was 16, I started writing a novel about the journey of an Amazon warrior in the ancient mythical world. Then Xena, Warrior Princess came on TV, and I didn't feel like working on that story anymore.

Then, during my college time, I thought of a story about a genetically modified human being who escaped from the laboratory he grew up in and tried to find his way in society. The same year, Dark Angel (which has a similar arc plot) came on TV. I never put that story on paper.

Since last year, I've wanted to write a story on the theme of Changelings (those of the Irish folktales, not White Wolf's), where a child was kidnapped by fairies to live in their world, and swapped it with one of theirs, who will be raised and live among mortals. I got the idea after reading a book of Irish fairy tales and thought of bringing the Changelings into a urban fantasy world - actually, the same I am developing for my current novel. Yet, as I was shopping at the Bookworm this afternoon, my eyes fell upon a book entitled The Stolen Child written by one Keith Donohue. I checked the story on the backcover to find it was exactly the same story that I had in mind ! Oh no, not another story to abort... All the more I had planned starting that one on NaNoWriMo 2008...

Och... I hate that, I hate that, I HATE THAT !!
I know, I know, it's my fixation on originality all over again. It's not the first time I rant about it. I know everything has been said and done. I know originality ceased to be since they wrote the Bible, the Odyssey and fairy tales, but I can't let go. I. Can't. Let. Go.
If I realize that something I've been working on has already been done, I have to give it up. If it's not mine, it's not worth the effort. I hate feeling like a copier, a remaker, a mimic - or worse, like an opportunist. Writing is a very personal thing to me and I like my story to have an identity, to be an extension of my self. I don't want to give the impression I followed a trend or jumped on a bandwagon. However, I do know my werewolf story is not super original in itself, but it's okay as long as I haven't come across a novel with a similar storyline. For that reason, I absolutely have to avoid books with werewolf (or shapeshifting) characters and move on with weaving a story of my own. I know too I'm not revolutionizing the supernatural thriller genre - what matters is that I'm writing a story that's mine.

I know, I sound like a maniac - wait, I'M a maniac.

Nothing to do with that matter but : I have eventually decided to make that LJ semi-public, but before doing it, I would like to know how to make a sticky entry. I want the first entry to stay on top all the time and I know it's possible to do that, but I can't find out how. Could you help me ? Pleeeeeease !

I found this quite inspiring story by chance on a French Windows Live Space, whose owner I was helping troubleshoot a photo issue, and I managed to find it again on the web.

And as you may have guessed, given the topic of my novel, it's about wolves.

An old Cherokee  was teaching his grandson about life :

"There is a struggle inside me" he said to the child. "It is a struggle between two wolves.

One is full of envy, anger, greed, jealousy, arrogance, resent, possessiveness, lies, superiority and false pride.

The other is good, at peace, happy, serene, humble, generous, true and full of compassion.

This struggle is happening too inside you, my child, and inside every person."

The grandson pondered for a while and asked his grandfather : "Which of these two wolves will win the fight ?"

The old man simply replied : "The one you feed."